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14 Day Notice to Vacate

August 23, 2010

“I will not be defeated!” I thought to myself with each cold handful of soapy water that dripped over my scars. I had just come back from a good day’s training with a couple mates and desperately needed to wash up. Our useless electric shower had completely died mid-shower earlier this morning during my first attempt at washing myself and even then I had to resort to cupping handfuls of cold water from the basin to rinse off the soap I had lathered up. You may ask “Why didn’t you just have a bath this time?” Well, our bath taps don’t work. The landlady didn’t deem it necessary to get them fixed because, as she says “well the shower works, just fill up the bath with the shower head.” By now you’re probably thinking “Ok, so you can’t shower or have a bath, but why not use the HOT water tap from your basin?”… We don’t have a hot water service in our flat. We haven’t now for almost a month, once again, because the landladies either didn’t think it was necessary to fix or they just weren’t in a rush to fix it…. or the most likely reason was because they don’t want to spend money.

Lets back it up a bit.

So, over a month ago our flat experienced a large power failure for no apparent reason. Just our flat. The major fuse blew downstairs causing a carry-on effect which resulted in damage to the water heater. An electrician came out, got the power back and luckily we were able to shower. We washed our dishes by boiling a kettle each time. We persevered like champions. The landlady finally called in a plumber who fixed the hot water, well to a point where the water heats up, it just doesn’t flow out of the taps; essentially fucking useless. Another visit from the same plumber and the water flowed out of the taps about as much as the dribble you catch yourself doing just as you wake up in the middle of a computer science lecture at Uni. But we certainly can’t blame this on the plumber. He identified the need for a whole new system just as quickly as he figured out the landladies were cheap. At one point, he even pointed out how he could fix the bath taps but the landlady told him not to.

At this point we had no hot water from any of our taps (except the electric shower) and we continued to wash dishes with kettle water while the landladies were overseas on holiday. Then of course, the shower stops working. Nicky decides to email them and let them know while I’m out training. I had received a bunch of missed phone calls and messages asking me to call her. When I did, I found out we’d all been evicted.

That’s right, evicted.

For the full duration of our tenancy we have been have been the ideal residents. We have always paid rent well before it was due, we keep this place very clean and tidy and we haven’t damaged a thing. But, to quote the eviction email:

“Following the recent and frequent problems with the standard of hot water we decided to look into this very carefully. After much consideration, we feel that our best option is to do some major work to refit the system. As a result, we wont be able to renew our rolling tenancy agreement with you from next month. We appreciate that you have been very reliable tenants however everything has really come to an end, but we do hope that you understand our decision.”

The news practically ruined the rest of the day for me and upon returning home to 2 angry housemates, Nicky and Mary, I needed to wash off and freshen up. So I put on the kettle and boiled two large pots of water then poured all of this into the bathtub. It was unfortunately only enough to wet my feet up to my ankles but it was all I had. So, with a loofah and a puddle of cooling soapy water I endured the less than ideal circumstances and came out a winner.

We now have 14 days to complete one of the worst tasks I have experienced (twice now) since moving to London. That is, finding somewhere else to live.


From → Life

  1. Beck permalink

    Ok – I was having a stressful morning, but your post just made me laugh with your witty comments, AND made me realise that there is plenty worse that could be happening. Hope you find a nice place to live soon, that has all the modern conviences (like hot water) that humans have been living with for over 50years :p

  2. Jacob permalink

    😦 worst story ever. whats next for Dazza and Nicky?

  3. nick permalink

    You should leave a note in one of the drawers once you leave, so that when the new tenant moves in they will promptly move out. basically prevent the land owners from ever being able to rent the place again.

  4. Veda Wickens permalink

    Onwards & upwards, eh? Don’t hold it against the city itself, it’s the cheap arsed f%#kwits that buy investment properties but then cannot afford to do the upkeep. Think of the rent they’ll lose whilst it’s being repaired! You’ll find something…hopefully better. x

  5. Troy permalink

    Dude, that sucks! But I guess you don’t need to be told that…

    If it makes you feel any better, my day was awesome. Work was painless and I came home to e-mails from both absent Gilberts!

    Just remember, the next 2 weeks will suck but you will find what you need. And then you both can get back to being rad in a different city to me.

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